Silent Victory

This past week, amidst everyone’s negativity, I achieved a personal goal. The boy I babysit, a twelve year old who prefers to play by himself rather than talk to me and his sister about her latest love note, actually conversed with me! To the average person, this might seem a small feat I have tackled as most twelve year old boys prefer video games to love stories. However, this twelve year old has autism and he rarely says more than “I don’t know” and giggles to me. After getting him to divulge into his Christmas list and how thrilled he feels, I saw his eyes light up. I could feel his pure bliss radiating all around him and felt the most excitement in watching his reservations and insecurities melt away.  In life, we tend to overlook the details, glance over the small moments that seem like a mere blip on our radar of the far more important and pressing activities in our lives. We sweep the everyday occurrences under the rug and wait for something great to happen. This occurs numerous times throughout The Great Gatsby as all of the characters become absorbed in themselves and their love of glamour and wealth. They become obsessed with other people and possessions that they overlook what lies right in front of them as the glance towards the horizon of their greedy desires. That aspect of the book made me seriously reconsider my life’s motives and goals and I decided to conduct a self evaluation of what I consider a priority. The results truly shocked me. Of course, as all humans try to appear, I know that perfection will always elude my grasp as it does to those in The Great Gatsby; however I used this knowledge to better myself rather than murder random strangers. After experiencing the boy’s openness towards me, I truly felt like I gained more than anything money could buy. He opened my eyes to how excitement should feel.

Angst

As the weeks have become five days long and now slowly drag from break to break, people have become quite hostile. Everyone feels ready for school to end yet it feels like it began yesterday. Seniors anxiously await the arrival of college letters and stress out about what we will do with the rest of our lives. All around the school one can feel the sluggishness of everyone as people drag their feet and keep their heads down going from class to class as to avoid all unnecessary human interaction. This tension has grown into an full on battle as students have turned on one another over something as petty as limited fans at a sporting event, something that would have seemed so trivial in simpler times. This inner school angst reminds me of Tom’s lashing out at Gatsby. Although under very different circumstances, both feel an uneasiness and exhaustion that eventually needs to escape one way or another. I sometimes find myself feeling like Nick; caught in the middle, wanting to lash out about finals or how ready I feel for break, yet also wanting to keep calm and push through until break. An anonymous tweeter put it best by stating that “collectively as a school, we are all slowly losing it right now”. I think that everyone needs to take a step back and breathe. If we all continue to go through the motions with the weight of the world on our shoulders then we will always feel bitter towards one another when we should enjoy our time in high school. If we do not loosen up and realize our good fortune of having the ability to go to school, then we all might actually lose it. If we do not reevaluate our hatred of the world and all things that have to do with school, we may all turn into “mad men” and shoot people we hardly know.

Love Lessons Even Gatsby Can Understand

Throughout chapters four and five of The Great Gatsby, we learn of Gatsby’s infinite and almost obsessive love for Daisy. It appears so strongly that it cripples him, making him literally weak at the knees as nearly fell "down a flight of stairs” (91). This behavior strongly mimics how kids act when bombarded by love. Nick notices this childlike behavior when he reprimands Gatsby saying that he acts “like a little boy” in front of Daisy (88). His firm tone implies that he should feel embarrassed by acting that way; however I do not see any problem with treating love like a new, childish discovery. In fact, most “love” between young kids proves the most honest and true love: no secrets or lying. I have experienced this through a little girl I babysit. Every day after school she runs in the door and proudly tells me that she has received yet another note. This note, far from ordinary, contains the confession of feelings that a certain boy has for her. This boy writes her a note every day proclaiming his powerful love for her and how he cannot stop thinking about her. Sound familiar? This boy, although a mere ten years old, could teach The Great Gatsby a thing or two about the expression of love. This fourth grader has learned the art of winning a girl at a very young age through the power of persuasive words. His bluntness about his feelings would catch even the most well versed lover off guard. Here are just a few examples of his incredible writing:

-          When I am with you the  only place I want to be is closer

-          Today I caught myself smiling then I realized that I was thinking of you

And my personal favorite:

-          If I had a star for every time I thought of you, the moon would finally know what loneliness feels like

Sounds very Gatsby esque, right? This boy, in the prime of his awkward stage, shows less of an awkward demeanor than Gatsby does. Now if only he could learn from his ten year old counterpart.